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December 30, 2005

Because Mediocrity is Boring. That's Why.

The Old Mail Bag has had a lot of email lately asking why we haven't posted anything in a while. Well, when we started this, we knew we'd have plenty to write about, just because, well, Ron Littlefield is the Worst. Mayor. Ever. But, what we weren't prepared for is how boring it is to follow the actions of this rudderless administration.

After the vicious, ethics-be-damned campaign Littlefield orchestrated, you'd have thought this would have been a hell-za-poppin' administration, but no. Nothing but grip-n-grin photo ops, meaningless press releases and whatever the hell Missy's City of Compassion is supposed to be.

Yawn.

It was like some kind of slow torture to follow this mediocrity and comment on it all the time. Wake WME up when election time rolls around, please.

So here's our quick take on the whole lotta nothin' that's been going on at City Hall that you've mentioned in letters to the Old Mail Bag:

* Missy's In The City magazine- After all the hype, I was gobsmacked when that pulpy piece of crap showed up on my desk. It is almost as irritating as that nuisance with coupons that the Free Press throws in my driveway once a week. For her to claim that it's unique and doesn't compete with other local, non-government sponsored arts-n-entertainment pubs is wishful thinking on her part. Or delusional. Either way, it’s untrue. But then, after reading her interview in the Pulse, she clearly lives is her own little world—and the oxygen is very thin there. In the words of Principal Gowan from the cinematic classic Heathers, "Call me when the shuttle lands." In The City is 75% ads and the rest is Chamber of Commerce fluff.
Bottom line: It’s irrelevant after only one issue.

*Benedict Littlefield - A few weeks ago, local crackpot politician Curtis Adams, who notoriously switched from being a lousy Democrat to being a crappy Republican held a GOP fundraiser and longtime Democrat Ron shows up. Nice Ron. Local Dems are trying to breathe some life into their party and you're supporting a Republican. Of course, the reason he went is because that's what members of the Good Old Boys Club do. That Ron Littlefield would support that anti-education, nut-job, contrarian, turncoat makes perfect sense if you think about it for any time at all. That he showed up weeks later at the Dems JFK luncheon is proof of his shamelessness.

*Unveiling New traffic signage at the Brainerd Mission - Are you kidding me? Dude is just a glutton for punishment. [see *Gasp* A New Traffic Light, Aug. 9, 2005 entry] Yep, our future is safe with this guy. Here’s an idea, while you’re out at Eastgate, how about working on getting some more tenants for Eastgate--Like you said you would during the election?

*Littlefield Busts Corker's Chops on Renaissance Park- Ron was on the radio the other day mocking Corker because Renaissance Park isn't finished yet. Ron, if you had only undertaken the construction signage on that project, we'd still be waiting for your Unveiling Ceremony, so back off.

*Who me, deceptive? - After standing Kevin West up two times, Ron finally went on his TV show. Ron had the remarkable gall to claim that there is no power structure in Chattanooga, and his proof of it was that he won the election. After orchestrating the smear campaign of the century by convincing um, how to say this-- 'easlily mislead' Chattanoogans that the Power Structure was out to get them, he tries to sidle back into the good graces of the people who actually get things done by disavowing any involvement. If that's true, then John Wolfe must just be a pathetic, wanna-be, loser. Oh, wait...

*Littlefield Issues Proclamation for Homeless Memorial Day- Obviously, anything we do to address the issue of homelessness is a good thing. However, Chattanooga has been addressing the issue-in more substantive ways than most cities- for years. This is yet another issue, like Go!Fest, where Littlefield attaches his name, grabs headlines, and adds no real substance to the mix.

*City of Compassion –Insulting. I’ve hit this theme before, but allow me to do it again: we do not need civic leaders to be our spiritual leaders. And it’s laughable to imagine that this lot could be. To the degree that each of us needs religion, spirituality, whatever--we have appropriate venues to seek that solace. We don't need Ron Littlefield, or god-help-your-soul Missy Crutchfield, to take us there.
We need government to build roads, provide utilities, run schools, etc. The last thing this city, county or country needs is politicians who think they are empowered to make us better people. Go fill a pothole. No, I wasn't being dismissive. Seriously--go do it. It's your job.

*Super Todd leaves the Mayor – Good for him, but when Todd Womack left City Hall to join the Corker for Senate campaign, the only integrity the Littlefield administration ever had left with him.

*Littlefield: Pride of Dade County- Have you seen those cheesy Christmas greetings from local politicians running on cable? Well, someone at Comcast has a wicked sense of humor, because while Worst Mayor Littlefield is spewin’ his holiday pap, the screen text reads: Ron Littlefield, Mayor Dade County.
Given his suspicious dabblings south of the border back when he was shafting people from the private sector, the title certainly is hilariously ironic. F-in brilliant!

*Chattanooga on the short list for a Kia plant Whether we get it or not, Ron's neither to credit or blame. He's so far out of his league when negotiating at that level, I assure you he's not a factor. On the other hand, as easy as it is to sneer at those low-end Korean buggies, these car manufacturing plants are very rare and our economy needs this badly. Fingers crossed.

OK, nappy time again.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

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